Wondering how to manage your needs while entangled in concerns about others?
Is this caring too much?
Caring too much about what others will say or think about you can be a huge obstacle to your success. You may want to follow your own path but you are afraid of being judged by others.
But the truth is, people will always judge you whether you do something or not. So why not just go for it and enjoy the ride?
Does caring too much about what others will say or think hold you back from doing something you like?
Answer that as you look into your mental mirror.
Is this what you hear?
“I have this fear of people judging me for things that I do. Like if I wear a certain outfit or if I go to a certain place and so on.
This fear is holding me back from doing something that I like because it makes me feel bad about myself.”
Yet– Keep it pleasant:
We are often told that we need to be confident and not care about what others will say or think. But, there is a fine line between being confident and being overconfident.
The problem with overconfidence is that it can lead to arrogance and make you lose touch with reality. It can also put you in situations where you are not prepared for the consequences of your actions.
Here are 3 ways that can help you explore ways to handle those consuming thoughts.
1-JOURNALING
Find an attractive journal or use a notebook to journal. You may find writing by hand is more contemplative and revealing of what is deeper in your mind.
It’s important that you use your journal to express yourself and explore your feelings without being judged.
Many people find writing every day connects them in a good way to expanding thoughts. You might discover your life purpose or new reason for getting up each day that you have not realized before.
…. And if you are not on a keyboard, you may find yourself doodling cats or flowers or squiggles and that can lead to a smile or two and some randomly useful ideas…for dinner, or??
2-MEDITATION
Arrange yourself in a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down.
Then, concentrate on your goals for the meditation, close your eyes, and start focusing on your breathing.
You can focus on your breath and relax with it, which will help concentration and focus. Exhale slowly, through your pursed lips and breathe in through your nose. You can do belly breathing instead of pursed mouth breathing if you feel more comfortable with it. As long as it’s slow and deep, it will work.
Now when you open your journal allow your thoughts to flow through your hand onto the page. You may find a fresh perspective about your own needs to consider.
3-THERAPY
Psychological therapy is becoming more and more accessible, with many companies offering the service online or via smartphone. This means that you can get help and support from the comfort of your own home. Prices for this service vary, but you can expect to pay around $60 per hour. Many insurance companies also offer a certain number of sessions as part of your benefits package.
If you seek professional help to deal with people-pleasing, make sure to find someone who is experienced in helping people overcome this issue. Remember that your wants and needs are just as important as anyone else’s. A good therapist can guide you through the process of self-discovery, so that you can finally figure out what you want – without worrying about others’ reactions.
Any or all three of these methods will help you gain a better understanding of why you feel the need to seek approval from others, and may even help you put an end to this behavior.
Keep in mind that what YOU want from life is important – following someone else’s dreams will never give you the same satisfaction and contentment that comes from achieving your own goals.
Illustrations © d.povilaitis
